A Little Girl Lost

Archive for the ‘pain’ Category

Insignificant

When I woke up in the hospital, Earl told me about my accident and that I was on a ventilator. Paralyzed from my neck down, I couldn’t move. I could see a black ring around my forehead and what looked like two bolts sticking out. “What?”

“It’s a halo brace. You have four screws in your head,” He leaned toward me touching them two at a time and said, “These two in your forehead and one behind each ear. They hold the black ring you see in place and four bars connect the circle to a leather vest. It’s to keep your neck still so the broken bones can fuse.”

Though I had no pain, we called it my “crown of thorns.’”

After wearing it three months, a doctor came into my room and said, “Your x-rays show the bones in your neck are fused so I’m going to take your brace off.” When she loosened the bars and the vest, muscle spasms shot through my neck in searing stabs that felt like heated daggers. She put a cervical collar around my neck but I still had to lay back in my wheelchair to let the headrest support my head.

As the doctor prepared to remove the screws, she assured me it wouldn’t hurt. When she began unscrewing the screw from my behind my right ear, several strands of my hair tangled around it.

Unable to speak, I had difficulty communicating my distress and my hair began tearing from my scalp. When I got the doctor’s attention, she cut the remaining hair.

A young Christian, I couldn’t understand why God had allowed this to happen to me. I had recently accepted His forgiveness for a sinful past and was daily growing stronger in faith. As I sat in tears, God reminded me it was Good Friday.

Traditionally the day Jesus’ Crown of Thorns pierced His brow – mine was removed.

When I see the scars in my forehead, I remember Christ’s sufferings and how He gave me a new life filled with love and joy, grace and blessing. I live for Him wherever I am.

My crown of thorns was insignificant. His Crown of Thorns was my healing.

“Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV).

In Christ,

Berta

 
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SnapShots: Devotions from Life

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A Most Magnificent Messenger

One morning as I read my Sunday school lesson, it referred to Joni Eareckson Tada calling her accident and subsequent spinal cord injury “A Glorious Intruder.”

I thought, “What would I call my accident and subsequent injury? 
After a few moments of thought, I knew. “My Magnificent Messenger.” The message it brought was a reminder of an unaccepted promise of God.
God would forgive my sins and use me for His glory if I’d only let Him. I confessed sins of my past I’d been too embarrassed to speak about and God began using me to plant seeds of faith in strangers and to encourage faith in believers.
I began this month in tears over unrelenting pain from an infection in a pressure wound. Earl has often taken my hand and encouraged me to pray.
Father God, I ask for strength for us this day. I pray healing from pain and infection, and that we will lean on you as we have in days past. Lord, give us your peace that passes all understanding to sustain us in these days. In Jesus Name, Amen.
For Earl and me, this month has continued as it began, with physical pain and emotional trials.
What would I call my injury today?  “A Most Magnificent Messenger!”
In our Father’s mercy, Earl and I’ve had a month to pray together in each other’s daily strengths and weaknesses. Answered daily prayers for God’s strength and peace, and our love for each other have held us firm in our faith.
We’ve had many opportunities to share our faith with friends and strangers. We’ve been blessed through frequent Facebook posts of love, encouragement and prayers. Friends have sent me cards and emails filled with these same sentiments.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7 NIV).
In Christ.
Berta
Friends, Remember to share with your friends. People are being blessed around the world for God. I am so thankful to be a broken vessel in the hands of a loving God.

A Crown of Thorns

After my accident in 1991, I remember:

When I looked up, all I could see was a black metal circle and two screws sticking out of my forehead. There were two more screws behind my ears. We called it my “crown of thorns.” Four bars connected the circle to a leather vest. It had kept my neck still for three months so the broken bones could fuse.

One day, a doctor I’d never seen before came into my room and said, “I’m going to remove your halo screws today. The x-rays they took yesterday show the bones in your neck are fused. When was your vest taken off and the cervical collar put on?”

“Yesterday, after the x-rays,” I whispered through my tracheostomy.

“Good,” she said. Showing me a wrench she’d brought in she continued, “Now this won’t hurt.”

At first, all I felt was pressure as each screw was turned, but it must have looked awful because my sister, Bobbi, was sitting on the floor in front of me holding my hand and crying.

“Ouch!” It was hurting.

Nobody was paying attention to me. Finally, Bobbi felt me move my hand, looked up and saw my distress.

“My hair!” I mouthed.

Some hair had twisted around the screw and the doctor didn’t know what to do. “I can’t screw it back in.”

“Cut it!” I cried.

A few minutes later, “Well the last screw is out. How does that feel?”

The pain and muscle spasms in my neck were unbelievable. I had to lean back and let the headrest on my wheelchair support me. Frustrated, I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me.

As I sat in tears, God reminded me it was Good Friday. Traditionally, it was the day Jesus’ Crown of Thorns was placed on His head. – Today mine was removed.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV)

My crown of thorns was insignificant. His Crown of Thorns was my healing.

In Christ Alone,
Berta

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