A Little Girl Lost

Archive for the ‘Alone’ Category

Useful

Jesus called me to tell what He was doing in my spirit. He said, “Invest in Me. My word is truth. My yoke is light.” How can I express His greatness and power? The fire that burns in my belly?

God’s call often sounds foolish to us. Noah built an ark before it had ever rained a drop. Moses told Pharaoh, “Let my people go!” Peter stepped out of one boat and walked on water, then cast his net in the deep water from another boat.

I came from sin. A sinner born from sinners to sin. Physically and emotionally alone, I felt separated by the cruelty of a world I couldn’t understand. Constant unbearable pain weighed heavy on my soul from childhood.

As I grew older, I knew God was out there. I’d tried to talk to Him but He’d never answered my selfish pleas. The day came that crushed by my sin, guilt, and self-loathing, I turned to Jesus and cried for mercy and forgiveness. I poured out my sin and soaked in His Holy Spirit. I walked away from who I’d been; I couldn’t keep doing the same things.

He began to use my life, which I once thought was useless—my voice, my joy and laughter, my pain and weakness—to speak to those who needed to hear about Him. He wants each of us to participate with Him in bringing others into the Kingdom, and he wants us to experience His presence in our lives.

“God doesn’t give us what we deserve, because if He did, we’d be burnt to a crisp in a nano-second. Because receiving justice would be hell; mercy is salvation; and grace is peace, and joy, and so much more.” Joni Eareckson Tada

“I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.” (Philemon 1:10-11 NIV.)

Lord Jesus, I thank you for bearing all my sins and setting me free from the law of sin and death. Give me boldness to share Your mercy and forgiveness at every
opportunity You provide. Amen

In Christian Love,
Berta
 

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Alone

Laying in my bed over the last year, I often felt alone and isolated, even separated from God. With my paralysis and the limited use of my arms and hands, I couldn’t hold a book and soon found myself watching TV and sleeping all day. Friends called and some visited. Many sent lovely cards with words of encouragement. (I still look forward to mail call).

Then in the early days of spring when I still couldn’t get out and I was desperate for fellowship I received the best gift ever, a laptop computer. My husband, Earl, set it up on a tilt table and with my head raised I typed using a rubber-tipped stick in a splint on my right hand.

The joy of writing in my journal again excited me. However, the first thing I did was open my email. A long time subscriber to the Upper Room online for my daily devotions I began reading them again, and God was right there waiting for me.

He continues to meet me via email every morning. I often read a devotion and find that I know the author. Have you considered receiving the Upper Room online? Do you know someone who would benefit from it? http://upperroom.org/devotional/email/

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5b NIV).

In Christ Alone,
Berta

Homesick

Several years ago I received a letter from my friend, Lynda. In it she spoke of her homesickness. She talked about her family in Chicago, her grandmother’s death, and her Church family in Kentucky. She got me to thinking about homesickness.

I can’t count the number of moves I’ve made, and the people I’ve left behind throughout my life. I never seemed to stay in one place long enough to establish bonds, or I knew I’d be moving on sometime soon, and never opened up to anyone.

Looking back, I was always homesick. Never satisfied with my surroundings. Never content with the people around me. I remember crying out in agony even as a child, “I want to go home!” I was tormented with a desire for something I couldn’t describe.

Then in 1985 I met a hospital chaplain, who introduced me to the Savior. After the chaplain and I married, we moved to Kentucky to pastor a local church. Six years later we moved to pastor another church. Then five years later. Then seven years.

I’ve come to understand that God always gives us a ministry where ever He sends us. Throughout the years our family in Christ nurtured me with love, prayer, and biblical instruction. They showed me glimpses of that unfathomable home—that place my soul yearned for, and my mind struggled to believe in.

Today I know Heaven is my real home.

In Christ Alone,

Berta

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